Is your relationship growing as cold as the winter is this year? Are you having difficulty finding love amidst the subzero temperatures? Well UCWbLove is back and ready to offer that Writing-Center based advice that is sure to guide you in the right direction.
1. Collaboration is Key
Relationships are neither one dimensional, nor one sided. The very nature of the word implies a connection between two people. This means you must be willing to collaborate with your partner. Teamwork is a necessity in any successful pairing; practice listening, responding to, and sharing ideas with your significant other. If you place collaboration at the center of your relationship, you will not only thrive in your partnership but you will grow in it, as well.
2. Everyone Who Writes is Writer
Well guess what, everyone who loves is a lover! The media bombards us with images of couples who are “right” or “wrong” for each other. When you become wrapped up in these idealizations, you lose out on incredible people that could be a part of your life because they don’t fit the archetype of the person that you are “supposed to be with”. It is always wise to trust your first instincts, but unless there are outside factors preventing you, why not take a chance with that person that doesn’t seem like your “type”? You may be wonderfully surprised by the newness that they bring to your life.
3. There is Always Room to Revise and Improve
Conflict is never looked on favorably within relationships, though it may provide more of an opportunity than you realize. It is easy to become defensive within an argument, but next time you find your partner and yourself battling it out, take a moment to step back and genuinely listen to them, however difficult it may be. Even though you have convinced yourself that you are in the right, there is alway room to improve within a relationship. Try to place yourself in your significant other’s shoes and, instead of taking their criticism to heart, use it to revise the way you go about acting and communicating. There may be more truth in what they have to say than you realize.
4. Sugar the Pill
Arguments are seldom one-sided. Chances are, you have some complaints of your own. They key, though, is how you deliver and communicate these frustrations. Expressing your feelings openly is always a positive asset within a relationship, though it won’t hurt to offer some good along with the bad. Next time you have a bone to pick with your partner, try to offer some praise along with your complaint. Let’s say your girlfriend, Amelia, is incredibly bossy. While it may seem easier and be more satisfying to simply tell Amelia to get off your back, instead try: “Amelia I really love how assertive you are, but it makes me feel very upset when you tell me what to do.” The initial praise reduces the hostility in your conversation and it may just be the key to allowing Amelia to truly hear what you have to say.
Wonderful things happen when you collaborate.