I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder about two and a half years ago, and ever since I have been searching for healthy ways to help with the stress I face every single day. The main thing I struggle with is worrying about stuff in the future that I cannot control. I’ve always tried to plan for every possible thing that could go wrong.
I think it goes without saying that this mental process is exhausting.
Before working at the DePaul UCWbL, I never had a job that forced me to live moment to moment (or appointment to appointment). Working here as a peer writing tutor was a huge change, and probably one of the best decisions I could have made.
As someone who has dealt with anxiety all my life, I never expected that working at a job that forced me to be socially interactive would be beneficial for my mental health; yet here I am.
Tools and Mentors
When working at the Writing Center, tutors cannot pre-plan every little detail, but at least they can come prepared!
At the UCWbl we’re given all the tools needed to help writers across a variety of backgrounds and experiences. We’re provided with extensive and exceptional training, templates and leadership to affectively help us help writers. We also meet with mentors who answer any questions new tutors might have about working at the Writing Center.
In short, tutors are given everything needed to conduct appointments successfully no matter the writer, subject, or citation style.
Even with this training—and the confidence that I’d be able to handle anything—when I first started, I still tried to pre-plan every appointment. I remember I was extremely nervous before every meeting, worrying whether or not it would go well, or if my feedback was actually helpful to the writer. Some imposter syndrome began to creep in as well; thoughts of, “Am I actually qualified for this job?” or “What if they made a mistake when bringing me on to work here?” were daily occurrences.
The main thing that helped with these anxieties was my fellow tutors.
Collaboration
My mentor did a wonderful job at reassuring me that they also felt anxious in the beginning. That reassurance made me feel less alone and valid in what I felt; yet also empowered because I knew my mentor became a successful and wonderful tutor.
Moreover, my peers in the preparatory WRD 395 class were amazing in sharing their experiences; their openness and willingness to help pulled me out of my anxious shell.
Eventually, I learned that I could not foresee or predict everything about each appointment; I learned that I had to take my shifts at the UCWbL one day at a time. Writers can cancel, change appointments, change their minds, or come in with something completely different from what was on the appointment form.
Day by Day…
As a tutor at the UCWbL, it is crucial to work (and meet) with writers where they are at. This means every appointment is going to be different from the last, even if it’s with the same writer. This also means pre-planning is not something one can do in this job; at least, not to the extensive nature that my anxious brain likes to.
I learned that I had the tools needed to conduct a successful appointment with almost any writer, at any time. Worrying about these appointments was not helpful because they are always subject to change. Of course, reviewing the appointment form and the writer’s requests is still a way to prepare, but doing these things days or even hours in advance is not always beneficial.
I learned to review the appointment about 10/15 minutes before and to do my best with the tools I have sharpened. Not only do I have those, I also have a supportive and extensive network of peer tutors and Writing Center faculty to help with any problem that might arise.
Since this realization, I have been able to apply staying in the moment and not extensively pre-planning everything to other areas of my life. My ability to stay in the present and problem-solve on the fly has allowed me to have a calmer life as a student at DePaul. As an acting major at the Theatre School, I have also learned to apply this in the challenging classes I take.
… And in the Moment
Living in the moment and doing the best I can with what I have has been a huge realization for me. I now have a new sense of clarity in how I view stressful events. Before, these might have kept me up at night or made me anxious to the point of not being able to move or do anything at all, but working at the Writing Center—surrounded by kind and wonderful people—has taught me that I can meet people where they are, and they can do the same for me.
We’re all learning and growing and doing our best.
Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.
Squire Bill Widener, by the way of Theodore Roosevelt