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Writing Concisely

According to Grammarly, “Syntax in English is the arrangement of words and phrases in a specific order. If you change the position of even one word, it’s possible to change the meaning of the entire sentence. All languages have specific rules about which words go where, and skilled writers can manipulate these rules to make sentences sound more poignant or poetic.” In an effective sentence, every word serves a purpose and occupies the right spot! (Hamilton College).

Eliminating wordiness from essays can be challenging. Where do you even begin? How do you know if your paper is “too wordy”? In English academic writing, professors, editors, and readers want to understand the writer’s ideas as clearly as possible. Usually this means less “fluff” so the writer can get straight to their point.

Here’s a few tips to help you get started.

  1. Avoid unnecessary language (Example phrases: This shows that, this serves as a way to, because of the fact, in the event of, due to the fact)
  • Original: Successful globalization depends on factors that involve culture more than economics.
  • Revised: Successful globalization depends more on culture than economics.

2. Avoid a string of prepositional phrases

  • Original: One of the most important indications of the sensorimotor period is the development of object permanence.
  • Revised: The development of object permanence is a key indicator of the sensorimotor period.

3. Omit “this” from the beginning of a sentence by joining it to the preceding sentence with a comma

  • Original: Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols. This has lessened the ozone layer’s depletion. 
  • Revised: Chlorofluorocarbons have been banned from aerosols, lessening the ozone layer’s depletion.

4. Omit “which” or “that” when possible

  • Original: Because the fluid, which was brown and poisonous, was dumped into the river, the company that was negligent had to shut down.
  • Revised: Because the brown, poisonous fluid was dumped into the river, the negligent company had to shut down.

5. Change verb phrases to single active verbs

  • Is a reflection of → reflect
  • Take into consideration → consider

Additional sources

  • Interested in learning more about writing concisely? Check out this post by a previous UCWbLing editor.
  • List of wordiness examples and phrases to replace
  • Revising to eliminate wordiness
  • How to eliminate words
  • Practice eliminating wordiness